Philippians 4:8, "Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things."

Thursday, April 29, 2004

From Dennis Miller, a dose of common sense.

"A brief overview of the situation is always valuable, so as a service
to all Americans who still don't get it, I now offer you the story of
the Middle East in just a few paragraphs, which is all you Really need."

Here we go:

The Palestinians want their own country. There's just one thing about
that: There are no Palestinians. It's a made up word. Israel was called
Palestine for two thousand years. Like "Wiccan," "Palestinian" sounds
ancient but is really a modern invention. Before the Israelis won the
land in the 1967 war, Gaza was owned by Egypt, the West Bank was owned
by Jordan, and there were no "Palestinians".

As soon as the Jews took over and started growing oranges as big as
basketballs, what do you know, say hello to the Palestinians," weeping
for their deep bond with their lost "land" and "nation."

So for the sake of honesty, let's not use the word "Palestinian" any
more to describe these delightful folks, who dance for joy at our deaths
until someone points out they're being taped. Instead, let's call them
what they are: "Other Arabs Who Can't Accomplish Anything In Life And
Would Rather Wrap Themselves In The Seductive Melodrama Of Eternal
Struggle And Death."

I know that's a bit unwieldy to expect to see on CNN. How about this,
then: "Adjacent Jew-Haters." Okay, so the Adjacent Jew-Haters want their
own country. Oops, just one more thing. No, they don't. They could've
had their own country any time in the last thirty years, especially two
years ago at Camp David. But if you have your own country, you have to
have traffic lights and garbage trucks and Chambers of Commerce, and,
worse, you actually have to figure out some way to make a living.

That's no fun. No, they want what all the other Jew-Haters in the region
want: Israel. They also want a big pile of dead Jews, of course --that's
where the real fun is -- but mostly they want Israel.

Why? For one thing, trying to destroy Israel - or "The Zionist Entity"
as their textbooks call it -- for the last fifty years has allowed the
rulers of Arab countries to divert the attention of their own people
away from the fact that they're the blue-ribbon most illiterate,
poorest, and tribally backward on God's Earth, and if you've ever been
around God's Earth, you know that's really saying something.

It makes me roll my eyes every time one of our pundits waxes poetic
about the great history and culture of the Muslim Mideast. Unless I'm
missing something, the Arabs haven't given anything to the world since
Algebra, and, by the way, thanks a hell of a lot for that one.

Chew this around and spit it out: Five hundred million Arabs; five
Million Jews. Think of all the Arab countries as a football field, and
Israel as a pack of matches sitting in the middle of it. And now these
same folks swear that if Israel gives them half of that pack of matches,
Everyone will be pals..

Really? Wow, what neat news. Hey, but what about the string of wars to
obliterate the tiny country and the constant din of rabid blood oaths to
drive every Jew into the sea? Oh, that? We were just kidding.

My friend Kevin Rooney made a gorgeous point the other day: Just reverse
the Numbers. Imagine five hundred million Jews and five million Arabs. I
was stunned at the simple brilliance of it. Can anyone picture the Jews
strapping belts of razor blades and dynamite to themselves? Of course
not. Or marshaling every fiber and force at their disposal for
generations to drive a tiny Arab State into the sea? Nonsense. Or
dancing for joy at the murder of innocents? Impossible. Or spreading
and believing horrible lies about the Arabs baking their bread with the
blood of children? Disgusting. No, as you know, left to themselves in a
world of peace, the worst Jews would ever do to people is debate them to
death.

Mr. Bush, God bless him, is walking a tightrope. I understand that with
vital operations in Iraq and others, it's in our interest, as Americans,
to try to stabilize our Arab allies as much as possible, and, after all,
that can't be much harder than stabilizing a roomful of supermodels
who've just had their drugs taken away.

However, in any big-picture strategy, there's always a danger of losing
moral weight. We've already lost some. After September 11th our
president told us and the world he was going to root out all terrorists
and the countries that supported them. Beautiful. Then the Israelis,
after months and months of having the equivalent of an Oklahoma City
every week (and then every day) start to do the same thing we did, and
we tell them to show restraint.

If America were being attacked with an Oklahoma City every day, we would
all very shortly be screaming for the administration to just be done
with it and kill everything south of the Mediterranean and east of the
Jordan.

Please feel free to pass this along to your friends

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